Wedding March of the Penguins

Years ago, on a sunny Sunday antiques outing with my father, we had a conversation that went like this:

Pop:  Your mother and I watched National Geographic last night.  It was about penguins.  Did you know that they mate for life, and they work together to raise their family?

Me:  No, I didn't know that.  Wow.  Didn't know any animals mated for life.

Pop:  Yeah, they do.  The male and female are like a team and they trade off taking care of the babies and each other.

Me:  Aww.  That's sweet.

[Insert long pause that led me to believe the discussion was over.]

Pop:  Miss (his nickname for me), I think it's time you found your penguin.  You've been alone long enough.  The kids are grown, and grandkids are coming.  It's time for you now.

Me:  [fighting back tears] Thanks, Pop.  You're right.

If you knew my father, you'd be amazed at the depth of thought, feeling and courage it took for him to have this conversation with his "little girl."  He rarely spoke about personal things; almost all of our conversations revolved around a TV show he saw, a carpentry project he started, or a treasure he found at a yard sale.  

Pop knew what he was talking about.  I was divorced at a very young age, with a toddler and an infant in tow, and I spent about 25 years raising them, putting myself through college and grad school, and starting a career.  I hadn't dated very much at all (didn't want the kids to get attached if it didn't work out), and I wanted to prove to myself that I could be a financially, emotionally and socially independent woman.  I decided that when and if I found a partner, it would be out of want and not out of need.

Long story short, I threw myself into the dating world...and met a lot of frogs.  A. LOT.  Went on first dates with some of them.  But on a beautiful, sunny, April afternoon, I met VK for an early supper.  He asked a lot of questions because he was interested in knowing more about me.  We shared common childhood experiences and laughed a lot.  We definitely clicked.  At the end of our date, VK leaned in and whispered, "I've had a wonderful time and I'd like to take you out again."  I said that I would love to, and in his excitement, VK gestured broadly and sent a full glass of ice water across the table and into my lap.  He took a small beverage napkin, began mopping up the tsunami and asked, "Did I get 'ya?"  I burst out laughing and so did he.  And after all that, I still went on that second date with him.  And a third.  Four years later, he still takes me out on a date every week.

I have found my penguin.  Aside from my father, VK is the best man I've ever known.  We are truly partners in every sense of the word.  We take care of each other.  We support each other.  We make each other laugh until we snort.  We accept each other as-is.  I've never been happier.  And even though my father no longer lives in his physical body, I know he's up there somewhere cheering for us and relieved that I took his advice.  For once.  (LOL) 

VK and I are getting married on the 4th of July, and I'm as excited and giddy as a young bride.  I get to wear a beautiful dress, he'll look handsome in his new black suit, and the ceremony and reception will be wonderful and memorable.  Our loved ones are over-the-moon excited for us and fully endorse the blending of our two wacky families.  Life is so damn good.

I hope you have found your penguin.  If not, please don't give up hope.  Keep the faith and keep looking.  If your search is out of want (and not out of need), then your penguin could be just around the corner, ready to partner with you for life. 

(c) Robyn M. Posson 2013. All Rights Reserved.