The Men Who Won't Marry You...Part One

I just love Samantha Daniels.  She's a professional matchmaker, and she has a lot of great dating advice on her Huffington Post column.  I read her blog entries regularly.  She makes a lot of sense.

One of her columns is titled, "10 Types of Men Who Won't Marry You."  That certainly caught my eye.  Here are the first five categories she recommends you steer clear of; my comments are in italics. 

1.  Mr. "Still Hung Up On His Ex": We have all been out with this guy. He says he is over his ex, yet at every turn, he talks about her and compares you to her. Please. He is not over her and until he is over her, he is not marrying you. 

Robyn:  Samantha's right.  If he's bad-mouthing her, then you can be certain that you would eventually be spoken about in that same disrespectful manner.  Trust me on this one.  Been there, done that.

2.  Mr. "I Am Not Ready For A Serious Relationship Right Now": This is the guy who dates a lot and then when he gets too close or decides he isn't interested in you, he uses the excuse that he's not ready. The question about this guy is this: Is he really not ready, or is that just a convenient excuse to dump you and avoid the commitment? 

Robyn:  I believe it's both.

3.  Mr. "Bigger Better Deal": You know this guy. He is the one who likes you a lot but is always wondering if there is a better version of you out there, somewhere in the universe. Honestly, do you need to be with the guy who is never going to think that you are good enough to marry? 

Robyn:  My question is, is HE good enough to marry?  I think not.

4.  Mr. "I Hang Out With Guys 15 Years My Junior": This is the guy who is 47 and a CEO of a company or a big-time executive and all of his contemporaries are married, so his BFFs are 25-year-olds and clubbing it. He is out until 3:00 a.m. several nights a week, looking to pick up and then he kids himself into thinking that when a 25-year-old girl says yes to a date with him, it's because he is such a good guy, not because she is dreaming of flying private. 

Robyn:  This is a huge red flag for me...if he can best relate to clubbing 25-year-olds, then he is emotionally 25 as well.  He feels so badly about himself that he has to pretend he's hipper and younger than his chronological age.  Bottom line?  Men worth marrying don't go to clubs to pick up young chippies.

5.  Mr. "Still Trying To Figure Out His Career": If he is 40-plus and having a midlife work crisis, believe me, he is not going to marry you. Men need to be settled in their careers or at least know which direction they are headed on the career front before they can settle down. 

Robyn:  I totally agree.  While women create their identities with the relationships they have, men define themselves by what they do and how much they make.  Until a man has that down pat, marriage is the farthest thing from his mind.

Have you ever dated men like these?

(c) 2013 Robyn M. Posson